Horsemanship Through Mindfulness
Horsemanship Through Mindfulness
Relational or Emotional Horsemanship
One Perspective
These are my thoughts and truths and by no means coming from a place of judgement. I truly believe we are all right where we need to be. If judgement is involved it is just coming from ego not the true self. We all have our own uniqueness and through having the courage to show our vulnerabilities and fears we can express our true self.
I believe we are in a society now where using our horses for jobs is less and less needed. Absolutely there are ranches etc that still use them for work and for the most part are being trained as respectfully as they can and still accomplish what they need to. Their livelihood depends on it. Yet most of us are not in that situation and just want our horses to be healthy, happy and enjoy being with us. Through my studies I've found that marrying Classical Artful Horsemanship(I am still an absolute beginning student) with Relational Horsemanship is not just beneficial for the horse but for the human as well. Attempting to marry the two gives me a sense of peace when with my horses. Just feels right. This is an avenue that took a long time to come to understanding, and just to add perspective to how much time, I turn 61 this year, whoop whoop. Granted I feel as though I am on a whole new journey of understanding life with horses, I will continue to evolve as my thoughts take me to more and more open doors. It requires us to have more awareness of ourselves and ask such questions as "What is going inside myself when my horse responds a certain way" "How do we handle being wrong sometimes and make the changes needed". I believe the horse's mind should be earned. Working the body before we have the mind to me is just taking from them, not adding too. Until we can look at things non- emotionally we can't always hear what they are trying to say.
Softness vs. Lightness
Softness comes from within and Lightness is external. This has been the two words that keep me striving to be a better human for my horses. I believe those two words get thrown around frequently as being the same. Yet they are so different. This to me is a critical piece of understanding how to communicate better with horses. Yes I believe any interaction with horses whether we are training or just our everyday interactions with them is a multitude of conversations. Are we good communicators and what does it take to nurture the intimacy we want to have with them. It’s easy to use external communication (aka aids) to get our horses to do things but are they doing it because they have really and truly turned loose to the thought or because they had no other choice. If we ask them the question “What does this mean to you?” within every thing we ask them to do, can we truly hear their answers. Or do we stay on our human path and get the request done at their expense. Sound harsh? Give yourself a break, you will make mistakes with horses just as we do in life. The question we need to ask ourselves “Are we taking what the horse is saying personally (emotional horsemanship) or are we truly trying to have a conversation?” Trust me when I say trying to see things from a more relational perspective vs emotional perspective is an ongoing process. I live it daily! You will vacillate a lot until you begin to trust what feels heavy to you and what feels soft. Meaning does your interaction soften you or make you feel like you are carrying around tons of armor. Relational perspective will open up things in you that you had no idea were hiding inside. Horses are clear in that they are always trying to find the peaceful solution. Humans on the other hand because we have a more developed reasoning side of the brain, have a tendency to compromise or stuff down situations in life that are not peaceful. Our way of coping. Creating a new normal even if dysfunctional. Beliefs we hang on to even if they no longer serve us. We spend a lifetime of seeking peace where horses see it as a survival piece and not to be ignored ever. Those horses that have reached a level of learned helplessness truly come from a place of I have no choice.
Horses have a very sophisticated social structure and in reality exist with very little commotion amongst them. It is our domestication has created vices that us humans struggle with. Other than stallions sparing to receive the honor of procreating, they really just interact through energy and yielding. It’s a beautiful and functional way of life. Even after a preditorial threat they go back to grazing when they feel safe. They go from parasympathetic (rest and digest) to sympathetic (flight/fight) back to parasympathetic very quickly. They don’t hang out in the sympathetic unnecessarily because they don’t have the portion of the brain that creates the storytelling. Conserving energy is a very important thing for their survival. Humans create stories around their trauma and relive it over and over. By doing that we stay in the sympathetic nervous system way more than necessary creating di-ease in the body. The same di-ease can happen to our horses when we continue over and over to ask more than they by nature are capable of giving.
I believe in energetic leadership so I am constantly being aware of my own energy and how that is being presented to the horse. One of the most artful and fulfilling things we can do each time we are with our horses is unlocking their most important need. Like peeling an onion, one by one we shed them of their worries. Meeting their needs so they are not fearful of the task we ask them to do. Can we create a tribe that can work together for the common goal of our horses wellness.
My tribe consist of .
- Me
- My horse
- Dentist
- Hoof care practitioner
- saddle fitter
- Training for wellness
- Mentors & Friends that keep me on track.
- Nutritionist
- Vet
- Bodyworker
It’s important to me that we all work together. More categories for me that play such a crucial role in how horses feel about themselves are the following.
1. Emotional needs
2. Physical needs
3. Me being present as a partner
4. Living in as natural an environment as possible.
5. Living in a herd even if a herd of 2.
6. My own personal development.
It doesn’t matter if we are offering the optimal training possible, if we don’t feel within us what we want them to feel, then it’s just doing not being.
When a horse truly turns loose to us they have found the softness within. This is extremely hard to do if we are not able to feel that softness ourselves. Without resonating from within our hopes and desires, it just becomes mechanical. Horses will do so much in spite of us. Just because they can do something doesn’t mean they should. I strive to teach listening to the horse by understanding not just how they share space but by honing in on my own vulnerabilities so I am able to share space authentically. Secondly when I can meet their needs, then I begin to drip in a training philosophy that will add to their wellness and longevity.
Most importantly waking everyday with a beginners mind allows us to hear what these amazing teachers have to teach us. Let’s be real folks, we are teaching them way less than what they are teaching us. Listen more and do less. Receive the story they have to tell and allow yourself to immerse yourself in a life with horses that can reach your wildest dreams.
“At the end of the day, Can I create a space allows them to relax”
I have much research and books that have led me to a relational/wellness approach. I am more than happy to share. Knowledge is power. Let the journey begin. As Maya Angelou says
“When we know better, we do better”
Cheers, Marie
“Optimize the Journey, Increase your Awareness” MP
Horsemanship Through Mindfulness
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